She Ran
by Ineedahug
Summary: Sam was a strong woman but there were times in her life when all she wanted to do was run. Implied SJ. Based around season 8.


This story is based on the song **She Ran** by **Amy Studt** who inspired me to write this story. It's quite dark but then so is the song. If you are interested in the lyrics then please see the end of the page. I hope you all enjoy it.

She Ran

Just looking at the photograph was enough to bring back all of the unwanted memories that she wanted to stay in her past. She thought she had changed as the years had gone by, but she looked so similar to the girl in the picture that it saddened her. Everyone had told her that she would become a great person and that she was destined to do amazing things. She had fulfilled that promise and she was happy with where she was in her career and her life but at the back of her mind she knew that she was only content. The same as she had been when the photo was taken.

She didn't often go into her past. That was where her mother was and sometimes just seeing her face was enough to make her heart break. She was too young to remember much about her but what she does is usually overshadowed by her death. The most ironic thing, is that she is wearing the exact same dress as she was wearing in the photo; her face the only one standing out from the crowd. That was probably because the photo was in a strange grey colour that the photographer had used. But her father had always told her that it didn't matter as she would always stand out because of her face.

Her father. She'd been running from the memories of her family for years. Some of them were good. The first time she stood up for herself at school even though she had wanted to run away but her mother had told her to always do what she believed in. So she did and she would never forgive that boy for using her gender to belittle her. He definitely hadn't expected her to turn around and make the same remark to him and backing it up with a punch to his nose. She'd had to go to detention because of it but she was proud of herself and so was her mother. But she tried to encourage her to settle opinions by using her mind rather than physically hurting someone.

Her father hadn't seen it like that as he had lectured to her about behaving as a proper civilian. She listened to his opinion but afterwards she ran to her favourite place, the barn at the end of her house. It was the only place she found peace of mind and solitude away from her brother who always managed to get her in trouble no matter what she did. But they always managed to laugh and joke when they had the chance. She could see them running around the field by the barn, where her brother had found her. She had felt so content and that feeling had gradually grown as the years had gone by. In some ways it was a happy childhood. There had been some hard times especially when her father wasn't there for her as much as she wanted but overall she had everything she could have wanted. But that was before it all came to an end.

One of her most prominent memories is when she's sitting on her bed changing the seams on her favourite dress her mother had made for her. Without her in her life she didn't want to wear it. But she felt her mother would have wanted to see her in it again so she was going to wear it to the funeral. Sitting in the church she hears the clock strike two and knows that it is time to say goodbye. It's difficult to see her leave as she had been the rock that held the family together. To lose her mother was hard for the family and she didn't know how she would cope but she knew that she had no choice.

It wasn't easy but she had learnt that nothing in life is ever easy. She just wasn't expecting it to be as difficult as it was. At the party after the funeral everyone was speaking but at the same time it was silent. She couldn't bear it and went outside for a short amount of time trying to get away from it all. In the end she ran away. Running as fast as she could so that there were no more faces haunting her. Her father never did talk about her absence but she had returned. She'd had no choice; she had to be with her father who needed her support even if he wouldn't admit it. She could remember trying to speak her father but he sent her away because she reminded him too much of his wife and he couldn't bear it. At the time she didn't understand and it felt as though he was trying to push her away. She had tried to persuade him that nothing had changed; probably trying to convince herself more than him that everything would be fine.

It hadn't. Her brother blamed her father for the death of his mother. In some ways her father was responsible but she couldn't bear to lose him after the death of her mother. She tried her hardest to make him proud of her but he never encouraged her, no matter how hard she tried. After another argument with him she felt something inside her snap and she couldn't live with her father anymore so she left her family home. The only place she'd ever been happy; she ran away from all of it. The days that had been so bright were now dark and cold but she felt that it was the beginning of a new life and she was finally going to be free.

She remembered a dream she once had where she was running towards the arms of her mother who had become an angel. It was strange how even in her dreams she was running towards something that she wanted but couldn't reach yet she wanted to run away when she felt insecure and upset. When she left, she knew she'd left her heart behind as she wasn't upset after she'd left Jonas Hansen. She knew that she couldn't be with him when all he gave to her was empty promises and letters that didn't mean anything to him. She'd felt it grow inside her for a while but hadn't wanted to believe it until he told a lie and she knew it wouldn't work as she couldn't trust him.

At times, she felt as though she was always running from people. But there were a few that she allowed in and that was when she finally stopped. That was until she met Pete and she was at their engagement party. She could see the face of her mother and told herself that she was happy. But the people were silent and she couldn't understand why but she felt the need to run away from all of it. She even wanted to run from the ring that he had given her to mark their future together. She went outside to be on her own but Pete followed her and tried to confront her. She was already in her car driving down the road. She couldn't be in that room where there the silence of the crowd was uncomfortable and she didn't want to pretend to be something that she's not.

She had come to a decision and she knew she had to leave her heart behind her. That's what she tried to do but then her father died and she knew she couldn't be with Pete anymore so she broke off the engagement. She couldn't be hurt anymore because she had no heart to break as it was with the one man that she desperately wanted to be with. She realised that she had been running away from that and had forced herself to be in a relationship that she was not happy in. But she knew that she had to stop running and she went to her father's funeral in the same dress she had worn to her mother's which made her realise that she had not changed. It was time to stop running from everything and start moving towards the future she wanted. One that involved her being with the one person she wanted to be with and for once she was running to him and their future together. Seeing him get out the car, she ran.

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><p>Thanks for reading. Please read and review as it would be most appreciated.<p>

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><p>Just a girl in a photograph,<p>

Wearing the dress that I wear now,

A pretty face is fields of grey,

It's sad to see that nothing seems to change.

She's running from the boy in the schoolyard,

She's running from the field to the open barn.

And they're laughing as the sun dances round them

The little life within her.

Takes its place inside her.

Starts to grow.

She cuts at the seams of her favourite frock,

She sits and listens to the old church clock.

Oh daddy, daddy don't send me away,

I've never been a bad girl

I swear that nothing has changed.

She's running from the face of her father,

She's running from the silence in a crowded room.

She's running from the ring that he gave to her.

The letters and the promises.

The feeling that's inside her starts to grow.

A dark day becomes a cold, cold night.

Fading light to bare a newborn life.

Two voices fade into one.

She closed her eyes with the rising sun.

She's running to the arms of an angel

She's running from the only place she's ever known

And she's running with her heart left behind her

They knew when they found her

That they just couldn't hurt her anymore.

She's running from the face of her father,

She's running from the silence in a crowded room.

She's running from the ring that he gave to her.

They knew when they found her,

That they just couldn't hurt her anymore.

Just a girl in a photograph,

Wearing the dress that I wear now,

A pretty face is fields of grey,

It's sad to see that nothing seems to change.


End file.
